Grace’s Journey Part 5

February has not had any of the excitement that January did, thank goodness! On February 8, at my routine OB/GYN appointment, I was taken off pelvic rest, as it appeared the tear I had between my placenta and uterus had healed and I was no longer bleeding.

February has not had any of the excitement that January did, thank goodness! On February 8, at my routine OB/GYN appointment, I was taken off pelvic rest, as it appeared the tear I had between my placenta and uterus had healed and I was no longer bleeding. Being cleared medically did not mean that I immediately resumed walking the dog, as I had been doing before placed on rest, but it did mean I no longer had to rely on my husband to do it all. I was able to help with the every day chores of cooking and cleaning, as well as the weekend housecleaning chores. I am not sure who was more excited about my being able to clean – him or me.

From my perspective, being placed on pelvic rest started to put a strain on my marriage. My husband knew why I was placed on rest, didn’t want anything bad to happen to me, and fully supports me carrying another couple’s child, I sincerely believe that being the only person in the household doing all the work creates resentment. I would catch him mumbling about having to do dishes. He grew short with me and our girls. He never complained about having to do it all, and when I broached the subject with him he maintained he was fine having to handle all the cooking and cleaning, there were times his attitude told me differently. I don’t know if I would have handled him being honest about how he felt having to handle everything, where his vocal words matched his actions, or if it was easier to try to blindly believe the line of BS he was feeding me. Either way, I’m grateful for all he did.

If you are considering carrying a child for someone, and you have a partner, make sure you and your partner have a solid foundation, good comraderie, and open lines of communication. I can see where relationships could easily fail if they do not have these things. Obviously, my husband and I may not have the best buy proscar 5 mg communication skills all the time – we both believe in choosing your battles wisely, and that if your complaints cannot change anything other than making you feel better and hurting the other person you may want to reconsider saying anything at all. But, he and I have mutual respect and love for each other and our family.

In mid-February I finally started feeling baby move. First just butterfly fluttering, where I questioned if I really felt baby moving, but now there are times where I can feel baby moving when I place a hand on my bump. I’m starting to see a pattern when baby is more active. Now I just have to coordinate to have the intended parents around during baby’s active time, and have one of them rest their hand on my bump so hopefully they can feel their baby moving.

I think one of the funniest things that happened in February were some of the vivid pregnancy dreams I’ve had. My favorite has to be when we go to the 20 week screening, and the doctor performing the ultrasound is showing us everything to do with baby. I never hear him say if they are having a girl or boy. Then, he’s done and we’re leaving. I look at the mother, and ask her if he told them what they were going to have. She tells me he did. I ask her what they are having, and she says she’s not going to tell me! The dream was so ridiculous and funny when I woke up, but in the midst of it, I was flabbergasted that I was carrying a child and the parents would not tell me what I was carrying! At the end of February when we did go in for the 20 week screening, we all found out I am carrying a girl. Father was not surprised, he thought it was a girl. Mother had convinced herself she was having a boy, so she had a lot to take in and adjust to! It has been one of the happiest days I’ve had carrying this baby – seeing the happiness on their faces that they are having a little girl, and that more importantly, she is healthy.

Kimberly Surratt served for eight years on the executive council and has been the vice chair and then chair of the State Bar of Nevada Family Law Section. In addition, she is the President-Elect of the Nevada Justice Association and the chair of the domestic lobbying committee. She has lobbied with the Nevada Justice Association since 2004.

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