The recent story that was on NBC News and the TODAY Show was shared with me on Facebook seems to have touched so many people’s hearts. “Dad Pulls Stepfather from Seat to Walk Daughter down Aisle”…
Coming from a very “well” blended family since the age of 6 the story didn’t seem that surprising to me. I was raised in a family were the word “step” just wasn’t a word that was used. It didn’t matter if it was an introduction or in the amount of love and attention any of the 6 of us kids received. Not from our parents, grandparents or even our extended family. This is true today, 47 years later. The bond between me and my siblings is amazing.
Grown, married and divorced with a child, I know firsthand how important step-parenting and blending of families can be for everyone involved. It seems to be more of an ego issue with some people; “You already have a mother/father”, “I love you more than they do”. First of all there is NEVER TOO MUCH help when it comes to getting kids to and from, overseeing homework, keeping an eye on their friends and trust me, NO ONE has ever been harmed from too much love!! The old saying about a village is even truer today with the busy life’s we all have.
Never anyone’s plan in life but I remarried when my daughter was 5 years old. I have never forgotten the day when she said “Mom, would it be weird to have two dads walk me down the aisle when I get married?” She was probably about 10 years old, the age little girls dream of growing up and being a mommy. I didn’t give it much thought at the time but I do remember thinking that her 3 parents must be doing something right! It wasn’t unusual for my daughter’s dad to join us for dinner, either in our home or at a restaurant. My new in-laws included my daughter’s dad to holiday dinners. As time went on and the mother of my husband’s grown daughters’ joined the family dinners too! Some people probably thought this was rather odd but all I can say is that we had the happiest 4 daughters of a divorced family that I know.
Time went on, my 10 year old daughter somehow grew up and was ready to get married. Her “Other Dad” had become such a big part of her life that when her fiancé flew from Oregon to California to ask her dad to marry her, he went to BOTH dads. That touches my heart so much when I think about it. Matter of fact, they knew before I did!!
So the wedding planning began…When my daughter told to me that she was going to ask both of her dads’ to walk her down the aisle, I was a bit uncertain. To the point I told “Other Dad”, maybe you should step back, this is her dad’s day to shine, really think about this before you tell her yes. I called my ex husband and told him he didn’t have to share this special day, not to be afraid to tell his Princess no. I think I was the only one with any reservations.
The special day was finally here, there was our beautiful bride at the back of the cathedral. As she walked towards her two Dads and the three of them linked arms all I could think was, “Mom would it be weird if ….” One dad loved the outdoors and to camp, the other dad loved New York City and Broadway. She truly had had the best of both worlds. As the pipe organ began to play and they walked down that long aisle, I’m not sure who was the happiest or the most proud.
I do know that our daughter understands the true meaning of unselfish and unconditional love. As her 3 parents did the traditional giving of the bride to our new son it was a wonderful feeling. I think we all knew that it had taken the small village of 3 to raise such an amazing young woman and we had done it, together, as a divorced family but family matters.