Category: Grace’s Journey

Making the decision to be a surrogate isn’t easy, and it encompasses more than just the person who will be carrying. It requires numerous detailed conversations not only with the intended parents, but your partner. It is not a process that should be taken lightly, or on a spur of the moment. For me, volunteering to carry my friends’ baby was simply the right thing to do. Fortunately, my husband agrees and is supportive of this process and all it entails. Without his consent and support, I could not even consider going through this process.
The first week in November marked the date of the embryo transfer. Leading up to the transfer date, my friends and intended parents did all they could to “increase the odds” of a successful transfer, by having me get acupuncture, as well as massage. Prior to this process, I had never had acupuncture done. When we met with the acupuncturist (who was also a “M.D.”) he told the intended parents and me that he does a lot of fertility treatments, and would do a session on me right before the transfer, and then come back after the transfer and do another. He believed that by adding acupuncture, it increased the chances of the embryo taking up to 10 percent.
I have to admit I was amazed at how quickly you can find out you are pregnant through surrogacy. Twelve days after the transfer date, I was confirmed pregnant. Inevitably, after the pregnancy was confirmed is when the questions started: “Do you feel pregnant?” At first, no, I didn’t, which in itself was amazing. That was short-lived. Within two weeks after confirmation of pregnancy, morning sickness set in. Oh, the joys of being nauseous all day every day! The intended parents tried to sympathize with me, but they were so overjoyed at this visible proof of pregnancy they had a hard time!
In my mind, the New Year was going to be great! I had pregnancy confirmed, better yet I was almost out of my first trimester, and I received all the instructions to be weaned off the hormones by the end of the first full week in January. Unfortunately, my expectations were not my reality.
On February 8, at my routine OB/GYN appointment, I was taken off pelvic rest, as it appeared the tear I had between my placenta and uterus had healed and I was no longer bleeding. Being cleared medically did not mean that I immediately resumed walking the dog, as I had been doing before placed on rest, but it did mean I no longer had to rely on my husband to do it all.
I thought I had considered everything, discussed everything with my husband and the intended parents, and had all the details of being a surrogate figured out! I knew how I felt about what I was doing, knew that my husband was onboard with my decision, but I never considered how my pregnancy with another couple’s child could possibly mentally affect him.
As of the last two days in April, I’m officially in my last trimester! For whatever reason, my second trimester seemed to last an eternity. Every week I look at the app on my phone which tells me how big baby is, what her approximate weight is, and what trimester I was in, waiting for the day it said I was in the third trimester. And, thinking about how close July is, I think this last trimester will go much faster than the second!
May was actually an uneventful month as far as this pregnancy goes. Baby is busy growing, wiggling, kicking and moving, all of which I feel with more and more clarity as she gets bigger!
It’s hard for me to believe that as of mid-July my experience as a surrogate will be over! It has me reflecting on why I decided to become a surrogate, and why I believed it so important to be able to do this for my friends.
July marked the end of my journey as a surrogate. I had forgotten how miserable I am the last few weeks of pregnancy. My family and co-workers were amazing at putting up with my shortened temper, frequency to nap (to clarify, I napped at home, not at work), and lack of appetite, along with a myriad of other things.


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